SPENT MY HOLIDAY IN BALI
One year ago, I went to the Bali with my big family. And all of us feel happy. Because, we are all went together. When holiday cames, my family make a plan to spent our holiday in Bali. I really feel happy. I went to the Bali with my father, mother, sister, sister’s husband and my cousin too. One day before leave to the Bali, we all prepare clotches, some of food, etc. Never before make a plan went to the Bali to spent our holiday. I think many activities can I done in there.
At 9 am, my sister, her husband and her son too, came in my home to fetch. By a car belong to my sister, we all towards to the Ketapang harbour in Banyuwangi. During our journey, we drop in a cafeteria to breakfast. After that, we all continue our journey. About at 9 pm, we all arrived in Ketapang harbour. But, I feel disappointed, because we must waiting until our car go in ship. In Ketapang harbour full of bus, car. About six hours, we all waiting until at 3 am. In the morning, I go out from my car, to look landscape. It’s so beautiful, when I look sea.
About one hour, we all arrive in Bali. And then towards to my uncle’s house. I have uncle in Bali, therefore we can visit there too. My uncle invite us to stay in his home. Whereas, we all make a plan to stay in a little hotel. So, we all stay in my uncle’s house. We all feel so tired, then sleep. At 1 pm, we make a plan to went around Bali. And visit some of tourism object in Bali. We decided to visit Tanah Lot first, it’s so beautiful. I’m really amazed when I look sea, big reef and be found Ostensible above. It used to pray place for their God, for Hindu. Then, we all took a picture in edge of sea. I look a big snake too in Tanah Lot. It believed as holy snake for Hindu people, especially in Bali. After that, from Tanah Lot we all towards Sukowati market. There are so crowded, many people visit there. My uncle with his wife and his son, my sister and her husband, my parents and my cousin too. All of them buy a dress, bed cover, souvenir and some of food. Maybe about at 7 pm, we all go home. And we make some of plan to went around Bali tomorrow, because we have a plan to stay in Bali for three days. Although we all so tired, but all of us feel happy. I love Bali. In the morning, in my uncle’s house, I want to done jogging, it’s so fun. And then, my uncle invite to breakfast together. After that, at 10 am we all ready to towards Bedugul. About at 12 am we arrived in Bedugul. It’s a large lake, so beautiful. Go around in Bedugul with my family and have lunch too in there. At 4 pm, we arrived in Kute. There are so crowded, because many tourist and many people in Kute. They done sunning and surfing. Besides that many people, maybe spent their holiday in Bali too and visit Kute. So that, There are full of people. I think it’s no problem. Play sand with my cousins, I’m really enjoy it. Me and my family enjoy the beach with beautiful landscape. After we all so tired, we decided to go home. Because we’ll came back to Surabaya.
In Sunday morning, me and my family permission to my uncle to came back to Surabaya. Before that, my family invite my uncle’s family to breakfast in a cafetaria. After that, we all leave to towards Surabaya, after for three days in Bali, Friday until Sunday. I’m really feel satisfy with my holiday in Bali. It can give me beautiful experience. And I like it. Make a journey and spent my holiday in Bali, it means unforgetable experience, unforgettable moment, I think. I hope, one day I can make journey and spent holiday in other place with my big family too, because I really enjoy and like it.
16 komentar:
i think your paragraph is good enough..
but i found some mistakes in your writing.
and i think you describe about your unforgettable moment so much and wide,i mean isn't too focus.
such as :" my father, mother, sister, sister’s husband and my cousin too."
you can write that sentence with " my family". and the other sentences too.
i think just it my comment for you.
wow intereating experience i think,,,
Ur paragraphs are good,,
But u described it too much,,and sometimes I'm little confused read yours,,coz it's too wide n not too focus..
but so far it's good..
keep creative..
by; 120810493 G
Hi,, elok..
Your paragraph is interesting and good story.
But, there are a lot of mistakes in your grammar. Please change and write to be better story. Uses of conditional sentence too much too.
I'm still confused to read yor paragraph.
don't forget to give me comment too.
Thanks
Pratiwi Ramandita 120810487G
Hello
Im Sory me scarer coment in your BLog
because i am opportunity Confused make coment in blog.heheheheheheh
i think Your Writing is very draw,,,,,, and tighten
Once Again Your paragraph have to spasi......and please check your gramer...ukai,,,,,,,
Thanks...RUDINAL 120810491G
I think your paragraph is great….
But you can edit some sentences.
In sentences:
1. When holiday cames,
You can change cames with “came”
2. Never before make a plan went to the Bali to spent our holiday.
You can change with
“Never before make had a plan gone to the Bali to spend our holiday.”
3. My uncle invite us to stay in his home
And
And then, my uncle invite to breakfast together.
And
Before that, my family invite my uncle’s family to breakfast in a cafetaria.
You can change invite with “invites”
4. We all feel so tired, then sleep
You can edit then with “and then”
5. And we make some of plan to went around Bali tomorrow,
You can change went with “go”
6. They done sunning and surfing.
You can change done with “did”
7. Me and my family enjoy the beach with beautiful landscape.
and
8. In Sunday morning, me and my family permission to my uncle to came back to Surabaya.
You can edit me with “I”
9. unforgetable experience,
You can edit with “unforgettable”
I find some mistake,,
"All of us feel happy"..
You can write "Felt",because in the past.
"I really feel happy"
You can write "I was happy or I felt happy"
Because in the past.
I think my comment is enough for you,,
Thank for your comment,,
From :
Dea Elanda
120810194
Hi....Elok,,,
At the first,,my comments are your paragraph is quite long...and you're not focus on your writing,,
But it's okay,, you tried to writing with good enough...
And i think you made some mistake in your writing,,
that's all my comments,,thank's for your comment on my blog
:)
wildania(120810477G)
Your paragraph
have mistakes in some sentences.
your grammar is enough.
hy elok. .
let me see. . .
i think your paragraph is good enough. .
there are some senteces which its not true more accurate okey. . .
. . . . .Rico. . . . .
By : Yulia Primita Sari (120810494G)
Hello Elok
Thank you for your comment before.....
- I think your paragraph is good enough, but it is not focus.
- About your grammar, you have many mistakes in your paragraph....
I hope you do the best in your grammar.
keep spirit.....
thank you for all my friends,..
you have given me your comment,.
thanks a lot..
elok, some of your sentences are not in past form.
re correct them, and your writiing will be better ;)
Hy elok....
I think your paragraph is good enough....
But I still look some mistakes in your paragraph...
So,you must be carefull in writing again..
And I hope you can write more better in writing assignment next on...
That's all
Don't forget for giving your comment in my blog..
Thanks b4
By:Ria Anggraini.S
120810492G
hii elok ..
i think your paragraph is good enough ..
you write this paragraph very detail .
but there are some mistake in your paragraph ..
you forget use simple past in some of sentence ..
that's all ..
Hello.....Friend............
Oh...I think your paragraph so good and so much. And Stil There are Mistakes in your paragraph but that's never mind because we are studying. Okey....
I think just that my comments and see U letter.
i think your paragraph is good but you gan not focus
i still look more mistake with your writing please check your grammar
kurnia (120810488_
Posting Komentar